honey bunches of taint.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
