Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
