Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
