The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
