Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
