Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
