I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
