Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
