She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
