Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
