This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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