Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
