I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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