You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
