Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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