hotel room ftw
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
