I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
