sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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