Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
