party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
