just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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