so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
