Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
