high people should be assigned attendants
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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