Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just had sex on a roof
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
