so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
