very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Can I color on your dick again?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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