its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
