I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
