shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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