you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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