Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
