reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
