i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
