girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
