you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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