i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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