After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
