Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
