Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
