This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize