non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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