UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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