Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
