spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
