She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
