hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
