its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
