I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
