I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
