how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
