Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
